Hey Kelly,

Guess what? My agent just called with an offer for another two-book contract! How cool is that? I'll be writing two mystery/romance books for a very sexy line—exactly the kind of fun beach reads you love!

So I was thinking, maybe you can tell me what your fantasy-book is, you know, your secret passion that you haven't told anyone? Do you have a thing for baseballs players and whip cream? Firemen and their hoses? NASCAR drivers and their stick shifts? Come on, Kelly, you can tell me. I'll write it so hot it'll make your dreams come true!

We'll be a team!

Okay, it'll be my name on the cover, but I'll write an acknowledgement to you. How about:

To the beautiful, talented, Kelly Ripa,

Thank you for your wonderful suggestions and late night phone calls that helped me craft this book! I'm looking forward to our next lunch.

How would that be? Oh, and Kelly, don't worry. All your secrets are safe with me. I won't tell anybody! I mean sure, I'll put them in the book, but I'll cleverly disguise them so no one will ever know!

Hope to hear from you soon!

Jennifer
http://jenniferapodaca.com/

P.S. Say hi to Regis for me. Hey, is he going on vacation soon? Need a fill-in for him on your show?

Dear Kelly,

So many people want Reading with Ripa back! Since you've put the reading program on hiatus, it just hasn't been the same. We miss selections like Carly Phillips' sexy bachelors or Vickie Lewis Thompson's hot nerds (I know...it sounds like an oxymoron).

Without Reading for Ripa, the unchecked media (fueled by the cable news channels) have jumped in to fill the void with sheer TACKINESS. They don't look for authors who've written a good book. They consider that formula passe.

Here is their formula:
1) Wait for some someone to do something stupid, questionable, a little illegal or immoral.
2) Make them the non-stop news story for endless days, weeks, even months if they can get enough play. (Like say, the mistress of a murdered!)
3) After wringing out every second of nauseating news coverage from them, add in a facilitator like Gloria Allred to secure that multi-buck book deal and movie rights.
4) Then give the book and movie tons of free publicity.

For example, The Runaway Bride, Amber Fry, Monica Lewinsky...I could go on and on!

So please, Kelly, bring Reading with Ripa back to us! We need your good taste and charm to save us!

Best Regards,
Jennifer

P.S. I just happen to have a couple books (four books and a novella!) that might fit your excellent taste in selections!

Dear Kelly,

Have you ever tried to sell words? Seriously, who buys words? Well sure, contestants on Wheel of Fortune buy vowels, but your average person doesn't call their best friend and say, "Hey, let's go word-shopping!

It doesn't quite have the same ring as shoe-shopping, now does it?

You see, Kelly, I'm an author with a mystery series, and the books are selling okay. But not great. Not fabulous. Not like…

A Kelly Ripa Author!

I want to be a Kelly Ripa Author! My books are perfect for you—full of sex, murder and humor. I just know that if you read my series, you'll love it.

So Kelly, how many books shall I send you? Should I start shoe-shopping for my TV appearance?

Sincerely,

Jennifer Apodaca—Desperate to be a Kelly Ripa Author!

P. S. You can see more about me at my website, http://www.jenniferapodaca.com/