Bring Back Reading with Ripa--Stalking Kelly Ripa

Okay, we're not really stalking her (please don't call the FBI), but this blog was born out of the frustration of trying to get our books NOTICED when there is a sea of books published every year. If you can't change it, at least you can laugh about it....

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Dear Kelly,

Jennifer and I HAVE to be the world's worst stalkers. THE WORST. Our efforts have not resulted in any restraining orders, police visits, and other than some ABSOLUTELY WRONG AND MISGUIDED inferences from Jennifer about my proclivities for restraining hot FBI agents in my non-existent basement, little else.

As for Jennifer's attempts to make me seem evil and depraved, first of all, most of the FBI agents I've met are not hot. Yeah, yeah, I know, we writers are always making them hot and deeply troubled, like David Duchovny on X-Files. But we're WRITERS. We're making this sh...er, stuff... UP! Nobody wants to read about deeply troubled nerds with pocket protectors, who have mother issues and... Um, never mind.
Secondly, I think that if anyone's background and life needs looking into, it's JENNIFER, not me. She CLAIMS she's married to an accountant. An accountant? Yeah, right, Jen. We've read your books. You don't pull that stuff out of thin air.

Oh wait. Let me go back here. I guess YOU, Kelly, haven't read our books, because you are mostly ignoring us, and not paying attention to our little blog.

Well fine. So we suck at stalking. We are, however, really good at writing murder. So we have joined up with three other suspense authors and are now collectively blogging at www.murdershewrites.com. Be sure to check us out.

Still waiting for that restraining order,
Lovingly, of course,

Natalie
www.nataliercollins.com
www.murdershewrites.com
www.aintnofbiagentsinmybasement.com.... Just kidding

2 Comments:

  • At 12:19 PM, Blogger Mary Castillo said…

    I had to close my office door reading this! My son is napping - it was a battle to get him down - and I couldn't stop laughing.

    Mary C.

     
  • At 3:43 PM, Blogger princessdominique said…

    I wonder if they will bring the club back or not.

     

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