Bring Back Reading with Ripa--Stalking Kelly Ripa

Okay, we're not really stalking her (please don't call the FBI), but this blog was born out of the frustration of trying to get our books NOTICED when there is a sea of books published every year. If you can't change it, at least you can laugh about it....

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Dear Kelly Ripa,

I realize you don’t know me from Adam, er, Eve, but I would love to change that. See, ever since Oprah started picking books written by dead people for her Book Club, and ignoring those of among the living without names like Hemingway or Faulkner, things have been pretty bad for us published authors. (Of course, they were ALIVE when they wrote the books, but it’s been a while. Trust me.)

Used to be a guest shot on Oprah pretty much guaranteed your place on the bestselling lists. Well, now, Oprah has resorted to classics. CLASSICS. Can you believe it? Like Hemingway needs anyone else in the world to know his name. When you say “Hemingway” to any person on the street, they immediately reply “Ernest.” That is unless they are hitting you full in the face with mace, because they think you are insane or Hemingway is a code name for the local street gang. But everybody knows Hemingway.

Give somebody else a turn, Oprah. *Sigh* Of course, she’s not listening, because writers with a whole hell of a lot more cachet and clout than I have petitioned her to start up her club again. And I understand why she is picking dead writers, too. They have a tendency to be really quiet and not complain when she showers them with praise. Thanks a HELL of a lot, Jonathan Franzen!

But we love you, Kelly. We think you’re just as important as Oprah, and that your book picks are actually a little bit more reasonable. I mean, come on, did anyone ever actually GET through Moby Dick? And I bet more than one person has picked it up with an ENTIRELY wrong idea about what this book is really about. Boy, I bet they were surprised.

You are still picking books, aren’t you? (Note to self: better check on Reading with Ripa. Otherwise, will look like silly fool.)

Sincerely,

Natalie R. Collins
http://www.nataliercollins.com

7 Comments:

  • At 11:04 AM, Blogger Cele said…

    ha ha ha, another great blog to add to my list of daily reads.

    Quiquag where art thou? How do you spell qweewag?

    Gosh maybe I should go back and read Moby Dick.

     
  • At 1:18 PM, Blogger Manic Mom said…

    What a great blogging idea girls! Why don't you email Regis--this is something they'd love to talk about in their opening of the show! Hope it gets you some publicity!

     
  • At 9:13 AM, Blogger Lauren Baratz-Logsted said…

    Dear Kelly,

    I write insane books that would be perfect if you ever revive your book club: books about women who do things like fake pregnancies, deliberately change their good looks for the worse, you name it, honestly, these women are nuts and no character Faulkner ever invented has anything on my characters in the nuttiness department. Plus, my characters will never make you despair of life, instead you'll get to feel superior as all hell, so there is that.

    Dear Regis,

    You owe me, Bosco. Ever since I never got on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. I was nine months pregnant at the time and I'm only 4'11. I can remember saying to my doubting-Thomas brother, Seth, "I just don't know how I'll get up on those high stools they have on that show," and him saying, "Uh, Ren, do you really think the only thing between you and that million dollars is a STOOL???" Really, Regis, Bosco, you owe me.

     
  • At 8:14 PM, Blogger Mr.Brian/Mr.Fletcher said…

    good luck with the blogging....posting hyperlinks to your books with images might help, too. Have fun!

     
  • At 6:51 AM, Blogger Lori Devoti said…

    Alas, I don't think Reading with Ripa has been a part of the show since 2003. :(
    Sad, sad, sad.
    Lori
    http://www.loridevoti.com
    Love is All Around, Zebra (a perfect Reading with Ripa book :grin:)

     
  • At 7:32 AM, Blogger Sling Words said…

    Dear Kelly,
    On behalf of "The Starving Authors of the World" whose numbers are legion, please heed Natalie and Jennifer's plea and revive your book club. Take us poor authors from Wallyworld to the exotic land of Manolo Blahnik.

     
  • At 7:05 PM, Anonymous randy said…

    Dear Kelly,

    Here’s the deal. I’ve got this great idea for a book.

    It’s about a teenage girl, wearing a horrible Goth wig and Alice Cooper eyes, who moves in with her Uncle Porkchop, Aunt Janet-From-Another-Planet, cousin Timmy, and, of course, Harold the Dog...oh, you say it’s been done?

    Well, wait. What if I throw in a mom who boozes and manipulates her daughter’s life for her own gain?

    Hm. That too?

    Uh, a megalomaniacal dad who didn’t know she was his daughter?

    Sigh.

    Being creative is such grueling work--we deserve more recognition for it.

    Help give the reading public something new, Kelly!

     

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